What If Networking Didn’t Have to Feel Like Networking?
How to Build a Business Network That Feels Natural — and Actually Works
There’s a word that makes a surprising number of successful business owners cringe: networking.
Maybe it conjures images of crowded rooms, rehearsed elevator pitches, and the awkward exchange of business cards with someone already scanning the room for someone more important. If that’s the picture in your head, I get it. And I want to offer you a completely different one.
Because if networking feels like hunting, you’re doing it wrong — and more importantly, you’re missing out on something that can genuinely transform your business and your life.
The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
I’m what you might call an ambivert — somewhere in the comfortable middle ground between introvert and extrovert. I enjoy people, but I also need time to recover after being “on.” For a long time, traditional networking advice wasn’t written for people like me. It felt transactional, performative, and frankly exhausting.
The shift came when I stopped thinking about networking as something I needed to do for my business, and started thinking about it as something I wanted to do because of my values. I wanted to be a connector — someone who showed up generously, listened more than she talked, asked genuine questions, and looked for ways to add value before ever asking for anything in return.
That simple reframe changed everything.
Finding Your People: The Story That Proved It
When I was working at Fitbit, I knew I needed to expand my network beyond my company walls. But I also knew I couldn’t walk into a generic mixer and make it work. I needed a room where there was a reasonable chance I’d actually connect with people who shared my values and way of seeing the world.
I’d just finished reading Conscious Capitalism by John Mackey and Raj Sisodia, and discovered there was a local chapter in my area. I started showing up to their meetings.
I want to be honest about what that felt like at first: awkward. The meetings were held in a Salesforce office building down the street from where I worked. I walked in alone — no colleague beside me, no familiar face, no one I’d ever met before. Just me and a roomful of strangers who all seemed to already know each other.
But I gave myself a simple rule: I only need to connect with two or three people while I’m here. Once I’ve done that, I’ve done my job. That small mental shift made all the difference. By the third meeting, it felt less like an ordeal and more like something I actually looked forward to.
A few months in, I met Frank. Our follow-up looked nothing like the typical “let’s grab coffee.” Instead, we went for a walk around the city. Somewhere along the way, we started talking about ideas — and discovered that a startup concept he’d been quietly developing and one I’d been quietly developing were, strangely and almost ironically, deeply aligned.
That walk didn’t just lead to a collaboration. Frank became one of my dearest friends.
More than anything, that experience was proof of concept. Intentional networking — showing up with genuine curiosity, finding your people, being consistent — works. Not always quickly, and never on a schedule. But it works.
Three Principles That Make Networking Feel Human
Whether you’re naturally quiet, naturally outgoing, or somewhere in the middle like me, these principles make the difference between networking that drains you and networking that fills you up.
1. Start with alignment, not volume.
Don’t try to attend every event or connect with everyone. Ask yourself: where are my people? Look for communities organized around shared values, industries, or challenges. A values-based organization, an industry peer group, a local leadership collective — these are worth far more than a packed calendar of generic mixers.
2. Lead with curiosity, not a pitch.
The best connectors ask great questions and actually listen to the answers. “What are you working on right now?” and “What brought you here?” will take you further than any prepared introduction. People remember how you made them feel — and genuine interest is rare enough that it stands out.
3. Give before you ask — and keep giving.
Look for fast, low-effort ways to be useful: an introduction, a resource, a piece of feedback, or simply sharing something relevant. The goal isn’t a transaction. It’s building a reputation as someone others want to introduce and invest in. That reputation compounds quietly — and it’s one of the most valuable things you can build as a business owner.
Consistency Beats Intensity, Every Time
The quieter truth about networking is that it’s not about the grand gesture. It’s about showing up. Regularly. Over time.
My story with Frank didn’t happen at the first meeting. It happened after months of consistent presence — meeting after meeting, conversation after conversation with people I didn’t yet know. The relationship that became both a professional collaboration and a lasting friendship wasn’t the result of a brilliant first impression. It was the result of being there, again and again, with the same genuine energy.
This is especially good news for ambiverts and introverts: you don’t have to work the whole room. Connect authentically with two or three people, and come back next time. That’s enough. That’s actually better.
What My Practice Looks Like Now
After years of experimenting, I’ve settled into a rhythm that works for me — and I share it not as a prescription, but as a starting point.
I belong to a couple of communities that genuinely matter to me. Rotary is one of them. Not every group I’ve ever tried — just the ones where I consistently feel aligned with the people and the purpose. I show up to those regularly and have let the others go without guilt.
I also went back to physical business cards. I tried the digital route — QR codes, tap-to-share apps — and found that the technology doesn’t always cooperate. The humble business card, it turns out, still works beautifully.
More importantly: I always ask for someone else’s card. Because no matter how a conversation goes — whether we clearly vibe or whether it feels like a polite but unlikely match — I follow up afterward. I send a note thanking them for their time, for introducing themselves, for sharing something about who they are and what they’re building.
Here’s what I genuinely believe: putting yourself out there takes courage. Walking into a room where you don’t know anyone, extending your hand, telling a stranger what you do and why it matters — that’s not a small thing. It’s an act of courage. And nurturing that courage — in ourselves and in the people around us — is at the heart of what great leadership looks like. Anyone willing to do that deserves to be acknowledged for it.
Where to Start
Ask yourself one question: Is there a community organized around something I genuinely care about?
Start there. Show up. Be curious. Be generous. Be consistent. Bring a business card and ask for theirs.
Give yourself permission to connect with just two or three people at a time. Follow up with a walk instead of a coffee if that feels more like you. Send a thank-you note even when you’re not sure where the relationship might go.
The connections that matter most are rarely the ones you force. They’re the ones you discover when you stop hunting and start connecting.
About the Author
Tina Dao is founder of Liberated Leaders, she partners with business owners and decision-makers to ease the burden of company leadership and embrace the discipline needed to create long-term value. With COO and fractional COO experience, Tina has a wealth of knowledge in technology, operations, strategy, and leadership development. She is a trusted advisor to multiple CEOs, helping them navigate challenges, optimize their businesses, and achieve sustainable growth. Find out more about Tina on our About page.
Citations: Business networking best practices research compiled with the assistance of Perplexity AI, sourcing: Harvard Business Review, Indeed Career Advice, Baylor University Hankamer School of Business, and others (March 2026).